Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
