I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
