I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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