Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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