Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
