dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
God, I missed his penis.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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