new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize