in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize