I've blown a few things in my day
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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