I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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