okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
