Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You are the jesus of drinking
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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