What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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