I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Couch. On fire.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
