i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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