guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
