I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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