he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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