Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
