We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
