Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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