Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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