Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
