VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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