I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
