Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
