she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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