im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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