you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
