I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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