she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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