Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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