I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
