Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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