Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
