I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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