Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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