It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
