I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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