Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Don't make out with my wife yet
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
