Buhtt sex?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize