Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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