dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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