i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
