You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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