Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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