She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
