She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
