I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
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I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
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I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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