I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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