when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
