Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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