i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Farmville is her only friend.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
