Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
