There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
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All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
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Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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