he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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