I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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